LEARNING TO REABSORB OUR PROJECTED & UNLOVED ASPECTS
I had a series of really horrible nightmares from early childhood all the way through to my Uranus Opposition (which we all go through from age 39–43). In other words, this recurring theme-dream of a very dark, scary, vengeful male stranger chasing me with a hatchet and killing everyone in his path wasn’t fully resolved until I was about forty-two years old. That’s a long damned time to have some deep inner “issue” chasing your backside through the astral planes! Oh how long and hard we run away from the very things that would actually free us…
As a young child this recurring nightmare started with this unknown man chasing me with a hatchet and if I ran to my parents, or neighbors, or friends… he just killed all of them. So soon there was guilt added to this very scary repeating theme nightmare. Over the years it was always the same; unknown hatchet man chasing me all over the place and killing anyone in his way that I led him to while running from him! He was always very close behind me, but never got close enough to hurt me.
Then the extremely potent Uranus Opposition transit to natal Uranus arrived at age 39, this lifelong issue within me HAD to be faced and resolved finally. Was I consciously aware of any of this at the time? Heck no. So the dreams started up again with the same old scary and very angry hatchet man, but now I was finally getting really tired of running from him. So instead of my decades long constant running away from him, I stopped and turned to face my Monster Man for the first time in my life. He didn’t know what to do when I did this, which I found very interesting. He was as habituated to chasing me as I was of running from him all my life.
Over a period of three years during my Uranus Opposition transit, I finally stopped running in these repeated theme nightmares, turned and faced HIM, and we tried to come up with solutions that worked for both of us. That is a lot of what the Uranus Opposition transit does, or rather forces people to do, and we should be profoundly grateful for it actually. I was shocked and very confused however about why He was so angry with me. During those 3 years of dreams/nightmares/inner work I discovered that my scary Hatchet Man chasing nightmares were really about a rejected, abandoned, projected, unaccepted and unloved male aspect of MYSELF and how He had been trying to return Home to me since early childhood in this incarnation. I was shocked, saddened, and humbled when I discovered this truth halfway through my Uranus Opposition dream plane integration and resolution work.
Eventually I had another dream during this 3-year period where I told him he could, and get this symbolism, “Live in my basement for now,” which he joyfully and instantly accepted and moved right into “my basement”. At that point of this resolution and integration process, this was all I could cope with emotionally; letting HIM back into ME in small, safe incriminates, without freaking out or running away again. It took me nearly three full years during my Uranus Opposition to become able to completely re-absorb this very angry rejected male aspect of myself who had been chasing me since about age nine.
The next step in this inner alchemical dream plane process was another dream where I found myself in a kitchen with about 8 or 9 neighbors, males and females, and none of them were happy about the “crazy hatchet man” who’d moved into MY basement! They were in fear ‘for the whole neighborhood.’ Amazing because all of the “neighbors” and the “neighborhood” was actually just more extended aspects of ME. Because this primary version of me (Denise) had accepted HIM back into myself, that old fear, projection and dis-connection was now spread out to other aspects of me who suddenly feared that the Hatchet Man would somehow now get them. See how our inner issues are dealt with by many aspects of ourselves when it’s too scary to be dealt with directly? In so many cases the different characters in our dreams are really all different aspects of US playing different roles for us.
In this one kitchen dream I told all of my neighbors that the crazy murderous Hatchet Man was not going to run loose anymore because I’d let him back into my basement to live. In other words, they were all safe and didn’t need to worry about him because I’d finally accepted HIM and allowed HIM to be reintegrated back into ME. End of that dream.
The next dream a few months later was the very last one I had with my rage-full murderous Hatchet Man. In it he and I talked face-to-face in the light of day and I told him I was finally ready to let him ‘Move up from my basement and now live in my Heart.’ At hearing that he smiled at me and instantly and permanently disappeared. I reabsorbed HIM into my Heart without any fear and that act caused me to become much more of ME. End of 35-yearlong nightmare chasing dreams with my Hatchet Man.
One simply must have all of the rejected, projected, Dark, feared, hated, evil, unloved and unaccepted aspects of themselves totally discharged emotionally and fully RE-integrated to be able to move vibrationally to higher, purer, vastly more unified and integrated, less dense levels of being and consciousness. Believe me, it’s far more exhausting and frightening running than it is to just stop and embrace whatever that needs to come Home and be Loved again within us, by us. This is another huge aspect of the Ascension/Evolutionary Process many individuals have, are and will be repeatedly living through. Fear not, just do it, and the sooner the better for you.
This brings us up to 2009 when the planet has entered the phase of integrating its age-old projected, unloved, unaccepted, rejected aspects or symbolic “Hatchet Man” energies. It’s time for real consciousness change and it’s going to happen in very different, sudden and dramatic ways now than what the masses believe or expect. It is compressed spiritual species and planetary evolution time. Get ready for the big ride now, not later, and if you honestly desire a Higher Heart way of living and being, then you too will easily survive the 2009 Storms of Change. Again, fear not, just finally do it for Self and All. ❤
January 9, 2009
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