Thank you Beth/Balsamicmoon for suggesting this topic. I appreciate when people do this as it helps me focus on specific things important to them at the time.
We’ve all experienced this at least once in our lives. I’ve experienced it many times with many people throughout my life. It is that thing where suddenly you’re having to deal with and/or interact with a stranger who you immediately and intensely HATE. Of course they usually aren’t too fond of you either, but your profound repulsion and hatred of this stranger is beyond anything you’ve felt in your life, and it has you scratching your head in-between thoughts of assault or murder! These situations where so much deep and intense emotion boils over immediately—with a stranger—are usually past life situations. I’m going to refrain from using the word karma or karmic only because it has, in my opinion, been horribly distorted and misunderstood by so many people. Karma does not mean “bad” or “guilty” or “indebted”, it simply means something is as yet unresolved within you. Don’t worry about the other guy—this situation is for you. It’s a gift from your Higher Self who wants you to use it so you can become truly integrated and free.
But because we don’t usually want to feel the hate and rage, deal with the anger and frustrations, our first thought is to flee the scene or to shut it all down and to not feel. To run away, to hide, to do everything we can to NOT feel or deal with that we’re feeling because it is soooo nasty and dark. Because I’ve repeatedly and thoroughly wallowed in Nasty and Dark in this life, I’ve learned a thing or two about how this spiritual lesson works. (Much of this is in my new book that is coming soon now…I promise.) What I have learned is that when repulsion comes knocking at your door—in whatever form it decided to use this time around—and it doesn’t really matter if it is or isn’t connected to one or more of your “past” lives, it is there screaming in your face and throwing turds at you to force YOU to deal with something within yourself. I know, I know. It seems like the situation is all about the shit-slinging monster or evil demented human making your sweet life a fucking nightmare all the sudden. You’ve got to discern this one for all you’re worth, and that’s not easy while under such intense fear/anger/hatred/attacks etc., but you’ve got to do it nonetheless. Get your butt back into the calm Eye of the Storm as quickly as you can and do your internal investigations from there.
Every monster/evil demented human whose ever appeared in my life were there as great and almost sacred teachers for ME. They were and are Initiations. They were there to force me to look within myself for the answers and not only at their obnoxious and repulsive selves. I’ve learned that when something, someone, or a group of someones suddenly are triggering multiple lower emotions within you for whatever the reason/reasons, then use that energy to transmute things within yourself. Turn your focus away from the monster/evil demented human, and to yourself instead and do honest internal investigating. Why do you feel the way you do? Why do you hate them? Why does he/she get under your skin so easily? Why do you want to cause them pain? Why do you feel weak or defenseless against them? Why does he/she have all the power when he/she is a cruel asshole? These are your tools to get free of them and to simply get free. Don’t focus so on them as the triggers. Focus on how they make you feel and honestly figure out why and what needs to be changed within you now. You see, this is Source manifesting a riddle before you so that you can do some more inner housecleaning and resolve some more polarity within yourself. Never forget that the monsters are gifts pushing you to get free.
October 26, 2009
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