Important RECAP & End of Nine Month Period

In January 2013 when I first noticed that the end of the Nine Months period happens on 9-22-13, those numbers really struck me and instantly triggered a series of higher awareness understandings about past/present/future events and the upcoming Separation of Worlds & Timelines. I apologize for the length of this article, but I believe it will be worth the time to read through it and connect some more Ascension dots.

I’ve mentioned in past articles, and covered in A Lightworker’s Mission, that my Ascension Process started in January 1991, with the start of my Uranus Opposition (age 39). Next, in February 1999 at age 47, I entered the brutal start of the physical level, biological body Ascension Process. If you’ve read A Lightworker’s Mission you know what I went through from 1999 and why. But, something happened in 2001 that I intentionally left out of the book (and blog articles) because it wasn’t the time for me to say much of anything about it publicly — it is now however.

In the book I detail the profoundly horrible period I, my Mother, and even our pets went through because of two brothers that rented a house next door to us in April 2000. Long story short, they were owned and operated by a (a lifelong attachment due to childhood sexual molestation) single demonic entity and were intentionally manipulated by It, Team Dark, to move in next door to us Elder Forerunner Lightworkers in an attempt to stop/kill/drive mad/destroy/derail me and what I was doing energetically in any way Team Dark (4D nonhuman and 3D human) could. Did I know any of this at that time? Unfortunately not because I was so profoundly sick from the Ascension Process for a year before this even started. The situation (both physical and etheric attacks) with those possessed neighbors only made my already miserable and profoundly difficult Ascension Process vastly worse of course. When a Team Light Starseed/Wanderer/Lightworker is down and struggling with transmuting density duality, Team Dark typically takes advantage and rushes in and tries to finish you off!

So here were these two (slightly younger than myself) males that are some of the lowest of the low who are completely controlled by this 4D demon and I’m profoundly sick and weakened due to the intensity and amount of energetic transmuting I was doing then via the physical body Ascension Process. These neighbors hated us, and we them, and it was an impossibly difficult time that lasted for years.

Early one morning (remember I live in southern California) these Team Dark neighbors deliberately opened their front door and turned their TV up really loud because they very much wanted us to hear it. They had never done anything like this with their TV before so I knew something else was up. After about fifteen minutes of listening to their damned TV intentionally blaring away early in the morning at us out their front door, I realized they desperately wanted me and Mom to know that something was unfolding on TV. I gave in and turned on my TV to see what it was that they so obviously wanted us to be aware of. There, live in the moment as it was happening was what’s become known as the 9-11 event.

Team Dark very much wanted us of Team Light to see and feel this live event unfold in physicality and our Portal People neighbors were manipulated to let me and my Mom know about it. (Normally we wouldn’t have turned our TVs on until early evening Pacific time.) I knew instantly that day that the event I was watching unfold on TV was a multidimensional Team Dark creation and was so much more than was claimed and believed to be at the time it happened and for these 12 years. 12 is a number frequency that has represented 3D physicality; 12 hours in a day/night, 12 zodiac signs, 12 ancient Tribes etc. 13 is a number frequency that represents everything beyond the 12 of 3D physicality of old. It represents Christ or 5D High Heart Consciousness and being etc. This is why Team Dark did its best to convince humanity that 13 was/is evil, dangerous, suspect etc. and to be left alone; they don’t want you escaping the old lower frequency and systems and evolving/ascending to the higher frequencies represented by 13.

Let me backtrack a bit more. Many weeks before this date I had clairaudiently heard and felt the most hateful, evil, nonhuman voice talking about how it was ‘time for the white man to pay, time for justice to be had…’ and other intensely hateful rants. What struck me when I heard this weeks before the date mentioned above, was that the voice I heard was a nonhuman voice and not only some vengeful human male(s) from the Middle East. There have long been unseen nonhuman Team Dark 4D Astral puppet masters orchestrating, manipulating and directing certain 3D human puppets to get more humans to carry out whatever 4D Astral Team Dark wants to happen in 3D earth physicality.

I knew from clairaudiently hearing this voice and the incomprehensible amount of hatred and darkness in it that it was a 4D Astral Team Dark being talking to other 4D Astral Team Dark beings who were working from that dimension to intentionally create, affect, manipulate, direct and finally impact the physical 3D earth and humanity physically in some big way for some big reasons. A few weeks after I head this voice, Team Dark’s 4D Astral plans manifested in the 3D physical earth world on 9-11-01.

numbers cropped

TEAM DARK’S LOWER OCTAVE USE OF NUMBER ENERGIES TO CREATE AN OFFSHOOT EARTH WORLD

Keywords–Completion, completion of a cycle of events, end/beginning, accomplishment, attainment, influence over situations, influence in circumstances.

–Master Number, visionary, “treachery and betrayal from secret enemies”, psychic awareness, awakening, multidimensional creativity, portals open and portals close.

gold zero –Void, unmanifest, potential, unlimited, nothing/everything, transformational change, intensity, eternal.

–Strong will, power, visionary, new beginnings, new adventures, exert one’s intent, creator, actions.

–Combine the keywords from 0 zero and 1 and you can easily see and sense the ripe potential that year held to create. (Yes I know I’ve ignored the number 2 in 2001 but even if you add in the 2 to the 0 and 1 you get 3 which is still intense manifestation within 3D physicality!) The unmanifest potential contained in 0 combined with the sheer power and drive to manifest something in the energies of number 1 provided a LOT of energy and force to create whatever a group of someone’s wanted to create…so they did.

Team Dark intentionally used the powerful combination of energies available from 9, 11, zero and 1 — 9-11-01 — to create an offshoot earth world and timeline where they would stay in total control over that world and those who exist on it. What Team Dark intentionally created utilizing the energies available on 9-11-01 was to deliberately create a huge emotional and psychic fracture in much of humanity; a horrific trauma that left people in shock making them even easier to control and herd in another direction, plus implement some new laws of the land to better control the masses then and in the future.

4D Astral Team Dark (Negative Orion/Reptilian/Draconian Alien beings etc.) intentionally created and carried out the 9-11-01 event (and much more) because they could See that in the near future the earth world that you and I incarnated on was headed for devastating natural disasters and the extinction of human life on earth around 2012. Because Team Dark did not want to lose their control and energetic food and fuel source, which has always been humanity and earth, they intentionally created a trauma to humanity massive enough to use energetically to fuel their creation of an offshoot earth world where they would continue to control humans and activities on that earth world. That physical offshoot earth world that Team Dark intentionally created through their multidimensional actions we call “9-11” — that earth world is called Planet B.

4D Team Dark did what they’ve always done and manipulated the 3D humans they could to carry out their desires and plans in 3D physical earth reality to benefit themselves. Just like when some intense trauma or shock impacts a human, oftentimes that human will fracture their personality because they’re so traumatized by whatever it was that happened and couldn’t cope with and remain intact through it all. Team Dark has intentionally and repeatedly done this same thing to mass humanity from the 4D Astral to induce global trauma and shock in as many 3D humans as they could. This they did very well with their carefully crafted event that happened in physical 3D on 9-11-01. 

4D Team Dark created this 3D physical event to use the dark emotional and psychic energies from the shock, trauma, fear, chaos, physical/emotional/mental/psychic pain, turmoil and growing hatred that event created in global humanity to deliberately induce so much trauma and fear that they could create a fracture in the human psyche which gave them the energetic fuel they needed to create and manifest an offshoot earth world and timeline that they do continue to control and use.

Do not misunderstand what I’m saying and believe that 4D and 3D Team Dark are “All Powerful” or that I believe they are because I do not. I want it clearly understood that Team Dark was allowed to do this by Divine Source so there would continue to be a physical earth world where darkness and negativity rule and that it would be even worse, even darker, even more violent and horrific than the dark negative earth world you and I were born on. Why allowed and why even darker and more negative? For those people/souls who haven’t figured it out yet! Divine Source allowed this creation by Team Dark — it did NOT happen because 4D and 3D Team Dark were “All Powerful”. They still believe they are of course, but Divine Source has given them more time to hopefully learn and grow and figure a few things out too.

Team Dark has always known more about certain things than the most conscious of incarnate Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers Volunteers have because they’ve always been able to “See” past/present/future timelines and alternate worlds and probable realities from the 4D Astral. They had this tremendous advantage up until the 12-21-12 Expiration Date, but from that point forward, 4D Astral nonhuman and 3D Physical human Team Dark members have NOT had the “Sight” and extremely valuable information it’s always given them. This is why a lot of human Remote Viewers could not and cannot See past the 12-21-12 Expiration Date. This is also why some of the ultra-sensitive Team Light Forerunners have been increasingly aware of in 2013 that the 4D Astral is feeling like, sounding like, looking like, and been acting like everyone’s hair is on fire there! The 4D Astral and 3D human Team Dark members lost their tremendous advantage over this earth world and humanity on it at the 12-21-12 Expiration Date and have ever since been hustling to adapt to endings, separations, and major limitations as their old habitual reality, negative abilities and other tools and ways have been severely restricted and highly isolated finally. The 12-21-12 Expiration Date was exactly that and a total black out and lock out to 4D and 3D Team Dark activated then preventing them from being able to continue Seeing multiple future timelines and world realities and manipulating them to their advantage. Welcome to the NEW dark, Dark.

TEAM LIGHT’S HARD WORK CREATING A NEW ASCENDED EARTH WORLD

What’s happened in the timeline after 9-11-01 is equally interesting when viewed from Higher Awareness. In a nutshell, 4D Team Dark did what they did to create their offshoot earth world 12 years ago — what’s become known as Planet B. Before, during, and after that date and event TEAM LIGHT has continuously worked very hard to create a higher frequency offshoot earth world themselves — what we call the NEW Planet A/B. We Team Light incarnate Volunteers on physical earth came to transmute the density, the negativity, the duality of the old world we incarnated on to cause it to ascend in density, vibration, frequency, Light, Heart and Consciousness to the point that a NEW physical earth world and timeline was manifestedPlanet A/B.

In another timeline the original earth world (if it can be called that) we elders incarnated on continued towards escalating “Earth Changes” — catastrophic global natural disasters — to the point that humanity could no longer exit on it. This is the earth world some people were clairvoyantly Seeing twenty, twenty-five or more years ago and drawing maps of that looked nothing like where the current continents are located. This is the same earth world that many incarnate human Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers were reminded repeatedly about and shown terrible images of by certain ETs over the decades either telepathically while awake; while asleep and out-of-body; and/or while out-of-body and on their UFO craft with them, that humanity was headed towards IF they did not change themselves, their consciousness, their beliefs and ways very fast.

I clairvoyantly saw that original earth world almost constantly from the mid to late 1990s. What I repeatedly saw clairvoyantly was a horrific sight to See and feel and was a powerful reminder and constant motivator that I was on earth for very specific reasons and to not waste time jerking around trying to be a “regular human” when I was a Starseed/Wanderer/Lightworker here on a VERY specific mission playing out on a VERY precise timeline. I know many of you reading this got the same messages and reminders in the ways you did and/or now are.

Team Dark has done things from the 4D Astral into the 3D Physical to make sure they will continue to have a physical earth world (and other offshoot ones of it too) where they are still in control and continue to parasite off humans even more severely than before if you can comprehend that. The Light gets lighter and larger and the Dark places get much darker and more compressed so that people/souls eventually figure out Duality and individually decide to head themselves back towards the Light/Home/Unity.

Simultaneously to all this TEAM LIGHT worked obsessively transmuting density duality across 3D earth and time (and in the 2D Elemental and 4D Astral and more) to help create a NEW higher frequency offshoot earth world and timeline where physicality and duality can still be experienced when needed for overall Soul growth, but, minus all Team Dark. This NEW earth world — Planet A/Bis a Stair Step world for the rest of humanity able to reach it now, to continue their Ascension Process on a physical earth world with Duality but without Team Dark and Team Dark influences like we had in the old lower earth world and timeline. This will make it tremendously easier and faster for humanity on Planet A/B to continue integrating duality in themselves individually and collectively and eventually evolve/ascend beyond this vastly improved NEW balanced and sane Stair Step world and level and reach full 5D.

Know that just because I’m talking about these things now does NOT mean that you or I will directly experience Planet B or any Planet B scenarios. You and I will continue to exist where we have for a couple of years already — the NEW balanced and Light-filled but still dualized but sane Planet A/B. Others will continue existing on this NEW dualized Planet A/B but with growing 5D consciousness and abilities. Most others will continue on it but from lower Stair Steps of development and awareness and will continue their ongoing Ascension Process which, at this level is, polarity/duality integration and eventual full resolution. Others will fully ascend to nonphysical 5D Planet A or elsewhere and so on. However, all this does NOT cancel out the FACT that Planet B and numerous other offshoot worlds of it will exist as other needed worlds and timelines for the people/souls who want, need, desire or are unaware enough to be drawn, sidetracked, or manipulated into it.

You will not experience Planet B or any of its offshoots unless you or I get really stupid or careless and fall or let ourselves be manipulated etc. back down vibrationally into a lower dense band of awareness and negative emotional focus… which we won’t because we’re not stupid after all we’ve been through! But, for some people (“fluffies”) to outright deny the existence of these other worlds and levels of reality and ongoing soul education and the many people/souls that want and/or need these (to us) unpleasant dark experiences just because you cannot yet grasp larger, more complex truths is egoic, deluded, and shows great disrespect towards everyone. It’s grow up time which means it’s time to know much more about much more, and obviously Duality!

numbers cropped

HIGHER OCTAVE LIGHT USE OF NUMBER ENERGIES

Keywords–Completion, completion of an Evolutionary Cycle, personal completion, collective completion, Shifting to the NEW levels and timelines, Endings and simultaneous NEW Beginnings.

–Master Number, Spiritual Master in Form, Master Builder, birth of the NEW physically, highest manifestations, unlimited, evolution, Universal transformation, Universal Love, creation, global implementation of the higher frequency NEW.

–Divine Christed Feminine, Return of the “Goddess” aspect of Source, Christ plus 12 disciples=13, Unity, the fifth dimension, Ascension, Enlightenment, evolution of consciousness back into the Light, purity, incorruptible, transcendence of matter, levels above/beyond the old 3D physical realm and consciousness, Divinity, High Heart being and consciousness.

NINE MONTHS COMPLETES ON 9-22-13 & SEPARATION OF WORLDS BEGINS

1) Winter/summer Solstice December 21, 2012 was the first Expiration Date or cutoff point of the old Evolutionary Cycle and all that went with it which includes 4D and 3D Team Dark  running the entire patriarchal earth and humanity.

2) Next energetic Stair Step was the very important transitional Nine Month period from 12-21-12 to 9-22-13, and even it was broken into Three Trimesters (more of those energetic Stair Steps for everyone). The Nine Months period has been extreme, intense, difficult, painful emotionally and physically, exhausting, highly frustrating at times, yet profoundly progressive and expansive simultaneously just under the surface of all that other intense stuff!

3) The next Stair Step is the fall/spring Equinox September 22, 2013 which is the second Expiration Date and cutoff point and is the activation within the physical of the Separation of Worlds & Timelines. This date is more meaningful to me personally than all the other important ones that came before it because 9-22-13 is the last and absolute energetic cutoff point from the old Evolutionary Cycle, world, and those Negatives who ran planet earth and limited and controlled humanity for thousands of years. This cosmic spiritual Milestone surpasses all the great ones before it to me because it’s the start of the NEW across the board.

Will this 9-22-13 Shift point alter everything physically, magically, instantly overnight? Yes and no, but just like 12-21-12 was the Expiration Date of the old Evolutionary Cycle, this date is an absolute ending/beginning point and the NEW begins fully on the physical which entails the separation between the different worlds and timelines. We enter a totally NEW phase of this huge Process on 9-22-13 which will be easier and faster than what we’ve already been through. Added to this 9-22-13 Expiration Date is the entrance into increasingly higher levels of individual Higher Awareness which will make everything vastly easier to deal with! Change like what will start physically after we complete the Nine Month period will have its difficult moments for sure, but, that doesn’t mean that you personally will or have to experience them. Keep that in your Higher Heartmind and intentions as the NEW begins and obliterates the old lower everything. This too is a transitional time as the old lower collapses and disappears and the NEW higher and much better in every way replaces it all. Remember the Uranus/Pluto Squares happening from 2012 through 2015? They HAVE to unfold and do the dismantling that they will in the physical world so there’s an important clue about how long these intense and possibly difficult changes may take. More about this major physical transitional phase in other articles. No fear.

MULTIPLE WORLDS & OFFSHOOT WORLDS

From what I’ve seen clairvoyantly and perceived from Higher Awareness so far, there are many more worlds and Earth-like worlds than just these Primary three. For example and very briefly, there are different offshoot worlds of Planet B so that all types of different dark/darker/darkest experiences can be experienced. One of these offshoot Planet B worlds is one where humans and machines are the main focus, desire, and intention. It’s a completely heartless, scientific, left brained intellectual world where humans have willingly given up their humanity, their power, their spirituality etc. to become strictly left brained technological flesh machines.

There is another Planet B offshoot world where war is taken to the end extreme and all human life is eventually obliterated from the insane desire and blood-lust to endlessly war against others. This world is so ravaged by human warring and bombings etc. that it becomes non-life sustaining.

Another Planet B offshoot world is where the human Team Dark “elite” totally control the planet and enslave humankind far worse than the 3D Earth world we incarnated into. It’s a totally fear-based and utterly controlled world minus all Team Light where the absolute worst of the worst and most imbalanced and insane “elite” control all of humanity and the planet. This particular Planet B offshoot Earth world is the one that’s directly connected to their old 9-11-01 event.

I won’t focus much on the NEW Planet A/B because it’s a Primary Stair Step world for the people/souls that still need and/or desire a physical world schoolroom to continue their polarity integration journey and education towards eventual full ascension to nonphysical 5D. This NEW balanced and sane Planet A/B Earth world has its timeline and is coded to function for a certain number of years to help humans focus on making the transition from Duality to Triality or Unity Consciousness, frequency, and being. I’ve read Cosmic Awareness saying that the NEW Planet A/B is coded for approximately 3,000–3,600 years if memory serves, and this timeline certainly feels correct to me. It’s plenty long enough to get the job done and make the natural evolutionary Stair Step on up to 5D consciousness and non-physicality.

I have seen and perceived many different versions of the NEW Planet A which is just wonderful. There is a primary Earth-like nonphysical world but there’s so much variety to it due to the 5D High Heart Conscious Creativity of its inhabitants that’s it’s impossible to talk about them all. What I’ve perceived so far of it is beyond beautiful; it’s stellar-like, crystalline-like, highly creative and diverse, full of Light, High Heart, and contains only people/souls of Light and other Light Beings and is much like “Home” to Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers.

In other words, if lets say there’s 500 humans/souls that have fully ascended to this Planet A today, then there’s 500 unique individual versions of this fully ascended Planet A all existing within this same space and frequency range. Think of this like different neighborhoods or different towns in one big country. They all exist within the same place but there are slight differences from one house to another house, from one neighborhood to another neighborhood, from one town to another town and so on.

So old lower Planet B of 9-11 separates and goes its way; NEW Planet A/B of 9-22 separates and goes its way and so on with them all. Obviously from this last Expiration Date and cutoff point of 9-22-13, everything changes everywhere but that’s a lot of other articles! This article was I feel, a much-needed recap and overview of what we’ve already been through and why and how it all has been part of the massive ongoing Ascension Process in every way. In a few short weeks we’ll go further into the reality-altering changes that Planet A/B is and will be going through for the next few years. Yes all this could happen faster if all of humanity was more evolved, collectively aware, and all functioning within a closer range than they currently are. Because they’re not it’s simply going to take some “time” in physicality for the old patriarchy and their systems to completely fall and be replaced with the higher frequency NEW and run entirely by those of the Light. Having said all that, this transition will happen very quickly all things considered! Thanks for wading through this very long article, and know that your Donations are always greatly appreciated. ❤

Denise

September 1, 2013

Donations are always appreciated for my work, time and energy and can be made here  Thank you. ♥

multicolored copyright 2 Copyright © Denise Le Fay & TRANSITIONS, 2013. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material so long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete, credit is given to the author, and you include this copyright notice and live link https://deniselefay.wordpress.com/

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120 thoughts on “Important RECAP & End of Nine Month Period

  1. Hi Denise………I love reading your articles and channelings……..however, the last 2 have been printed on a very dark background and I cannot read them.  Is there a way you can change the background so that the printed words are more visible?  Isabella Sage

    ________________________________

  2. Isabella,

    I’ve had other people inform me of this same situation. I would never use a WordPress theme and/or background that did anything to interfere with my words! Every WP theme I use has a plain white or colored, non-patterned background where the text goes in each article. The dark colored patterned background is, should be ONLY visible at the sides of the solid white or colored area where the text is. I do not know why, for some people, the normal solid white background for the text area disappears?! It’s not like that on my computer and never has been so I’m not sure what to tell you. You might try updating your computer and internet??? Does anyone else know why this is happening for some readers? If we can’t get this figured out, I’ll have to not use any patterned backgrounds at all in hopes that my text clearly and easily shows up for everyone to read. I work hard on what I write and I certainly want everyone to easily see it all!

    Hugs,
    Denise

  3. Hi

    I am looking forward to reading this post…unfortunanely, due to the colors of the intense background and the light print…I cannot make it out at all. Please help. Thanks ..Irene 🙂

  4. Denise – Blessings to you, my dear soul sister! Where is the DONATE link on your website?! I looked and looked and looked for it (albeit in a big-time, brain-damaged, Ascension symptoms state), but could not find it! Please make it easy for folks to support you, my dear! (I know, surely websites are going the way of the dodo-bird in a few weeks, right? So not worth the trouble right now?) At least send me a link so that I can send you some money, OK?

    Thx, bows & blessings – 😀 “Rev. Russ”

  5. Denise,
    Excellent, excellent, excellent as I knew this article would be. I was chatting with a friend, who I only connect with every few month’s and as a result of these pivotal times we wound up chatting for 4-1/2 hours which is unheard of for me, and we spoke of many points which you just covered. I so agree with your feeling that the New Planet A/B scenario will play out in around a few thousand year time period. I still am blown away that I chose to stay with the Planet A/B scenario instead of Planet A (Full Ascension), I made this decision in the beginning of summer when I knew I just wasn’t read to leave “form” for “formlessness”! With all that I have had to endure, along with the rest of you, I decided to sign up for another cycle in human form and all that it will entail. I agree with you Denise, it will become better and better(Planet A/B) but will take time, will not happen overnight BUT there still will be much “Magic” that will transpire unlike anything we have seen up to this time and WILL NOT BE that “false magic” that was created by the “negative agenda”, which just existed within the “illusory bubble”, think “The Secret”, etc. which was just used to the negative’s agenda. Denise covered how they do this quite well in the beginning of her article. Prior to the 12-21-12 date it was ALL manipulation with manipulation continuing past then, but for those able to see, it was being blatantly exposed.
    Also, as knowing myself as a Timelord from the Future where my job was maneuvering thru timelines, I receive within that many have already moved to Planet A(Ascension) and the reason I am not aware of it is that a type of “mind wipe” transpires, in essence I have no memory of anyone that I would have known that has Ascended to that Timeline. The whole Timeline thing is so freaky to my mind at this time, can only comprehend so much as it is really a “farout there” concept as the understanding still is in my future Timelord timeline. I can only “feel into it within” and then my mind cannot fully encompass all of it at this juncture in time. Hoping I will be able to comprehend more and more as I continue forward.
    Also, I was just thinking earlier how much I appreciate you maintaining this site on a donation basis as many are switching to a fee basis, which I don’t judge because we all need to survive. It is just that still, at this time, some of us have no financing to contribute but I will remember you when I can in the not too distant future! Thank You from My Heart To Yours!

  6. Hey Denise

    Superb recap my dear angel buddy 🙂

    After the 22nd of Sept, I would like to work in planet A & at the same time help my friends & family in planet A/B to evolve higher. I want this outcome more than anything.

    Love & hugs,

    Stubeing

  7. Hi Denise. I have whined a lot about being alone…. understatement. The fruits of a life alone is the ongoing detachment process. I am not certain how clean it is and by that I mean I don’t know if I have really let go or am I not seeing wounded areas. The longer I go on the less I care about so much here. The thing that freaks me is the level of indifference. I do know I am resisting joy. I am resisting the total realization that it is up to me and my own personal connection that is ALL. It has come to my attention that everything that I like or makes me feel better is from outside of me. Such as the love from a puppy! I’m not saying that I think there is anything wrong with those kind of outside inputs in our lives, but something is making the point that I need to really GET IT that I AM the only true connection. I resist it like I resist cleaning my house. The juxtaposition is because I longed to be normal like everybody else for such a long time when I did not understand in any way what was going on here or myself. I think I feel “cheated” somehow : ) And then later on it more or less came to me what you wrote above about the sheer necessity to keep focused and if I had had my way, my little dreams come true, it would not have fostered the desired over all outcome of which you speak, but fed the delusions about life. I have seen how much my liking life depends on what I CONSUME. It scares me. Jolts me. Of course I don’t mean just eating! I am shown how I still live life backwards.

    So the pissy part that didn’t get what she wanted and hurt so much drags her feet because “this” doesn’t fit her picture. Also I am not sure how to go about it except to keep letting go and watch what happens. Dive into it and experiment. It’s like I have my arms folded and with a frown saying, “alright, I’ll do it, but I don’t have to like it!”

    HUGS!

  8. Hello
    I solved the problem with diffuculty to read the text because of the grey background. Mark the whole text and right click and push the copy button.
    Paste the text into a world dokument. Everything was OK.
    Best regards Lill

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